Wednesday, July 27, 2016

I'm Ready

It makes no logical sense the matters of the heart.  How we can be captivated by another person so much so that they haunt our dreams.  That at the mere sight of them the whole world around us melts away. Nothing else matters when your eyes meet theirs, your problems,your aches and pains all disappear in sweet release.  When you are away from them, you miss them like the flowers miss the rain in the dry heat of summer.  Everywhere you go you see them or long to see them.  The anticipation of hearing their voice or feeling their soft touch keeps you going.  You hang on for dear life for another day just to see them again because the thought of a life without them would be torture.  My mind wages this endless war against my heart, rationality says none of this is sensical.  In the end you will just end up hurt like you always do.  So many times before I have let my mind win out but this time, I don't want to believe the caution in my mind.  I just want to feel again, I want that excitement in my life again.  I want my heart to be free to love again, to no longer be bound in its cage.  My mind would have me believe I am protecting myself but all I have done is stop living.  If this is all the love my spirit can give then there is no reason to live anymore.  Its been a long time, lonely, dark, and cold, alone in my castle of ice.  Now I see the sun, but I am reserved.  Is it just a mere illusion?  Could she be the one who breaks the chains that have held me locked away?  I won't know for sure unless I am willing to open up again to the possibility of being hurt or the possibility that I may find that which my heart has longed for, the only thing I seek in a fallen world.  All the riches in the world could not compare to knowing the love of another, to be gifted another persons heart.  To have that which so many around me take for granted.  Fools all of them!  What I wouldn't give...  

Just once before my number is up...
To be free to love again...  
To find that heart that will complete me, that will make me whole.  The search continues, come hell or high water, through valleys and over hills.  I think I am ready to just let go and allow myself to care, to love again.  

No comments:

Post a Comment